Originally published at a hundred ways to kill yourself without actually dying. You can comment here or there.
With the planet due to be consumed by fire at some point today, it’s maybe time to consider, where are the top five ideal places to witness the end of civilisation and all life on Earth?
5) City/Town/Village Celebration Points
What better place to celebrate the end of mankind and all mankind’s achievements than some state-prescribed public place for celebrating such momentous occasions as the arbitrary accumulation of 365 or 366 days every Jan 1st. (Caution may lack adequate bar/toilet facilities, pls check in advance.)
4) Local Pub
Friends, family, glorious random locals and bar staff that are better than any expensive psychotherapists… what could be better? Alas due to the alcohol policies of successive governments, pubs (public houses, a home from home for all members of the community, drinkers and non-drinkers alike to come together) have closed down, been turned into soulless restaurants / Tesco Metros.
3) In Bed with a Loved One
If you time it right, it could be the orgasm to end all orgasms. But, more than that, what ultimate way to celebrate the ultimate solitude of existence, than as merged as our physiology allows, with a loved one. Maybe forget the sex, get the family together and just hug and share love in your final moments. After all, “We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.” – Orson Welles
2) Your Own Mind
Meditation, dreaming or quietly in the company of your own counsel. Let’s face it ‘hell is other people’ (Satre). Our experience of ourselves is always coloured by how we perceive others interpret us… are we but objects in the consciousness of others… and ultimately others are all rubbish and let you down. (And let’s face it you’re a bit flaky when it comes to it.) Your existence is only ever your personal reaction to an allegedly objective reality. Celebrate your personal experience of existence as objective reality is finally proven as it explodes in flames all around you.
1) Inside a bucket of water
Fed up with how the universe is always deciding your fate without consulting you? Take matters into your own hands by filling up a bucket of water, completely submerging your head, and inhaling deeply. The impending end of the world could finally give you the courage to take your destiny into your own hands. What price autonomy?