a hundred ways to kill yourself without actually dying

a hundred ways to kill yourself without actually dying - look to the light leland

Max Rael

look to the light leland	[Sep. 22nd, 2008\|11:10 pm]
last night i dreamt a bomb went off... i was in the office and from around the corner to the front of me, i got the sense of fire. i looked up and it was hotter than flame, burning white. i got up from my desk, turned behind the pillar behind me and dived down behind the desks... The heat and light were all around me. It felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to my lungs. My last thoughts were, 'this is it'... followed by, 'go! go! go!' But strangely no pain, just warm, loving ecstatic light. It was one of the purest, warmest, liquid pleasure i'd ever known. A bit like what i imagine taking heroin is like. i wanted to stay like that forever, writhing and rolling in it, only i noticed i was still breathing. I remember thinking how strange it was that i could still be breathing in this place beyond life, and i gradually became aware of my surroundings, and it was cold and dark and i was in bed. Today i have partially been Malcolm McDowell thinking about the nexus
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